Kanyon -- Aug. 26, 2010

It's like trying to describe what you feel when you're standing on the rim of the Grand Canyon or remembering your first love or the birth of your child. You have to be there to really know what it's like.
- Jack Schmitt 

After raising Kaleb and Kennedy alone for so long, it was my firm belief that my days of having more children were far behind me. It wasn't that I didn't always have the hope or want one more, but life just wasn't leading me in that direction. Kaleb and Kenn were getting much older by now and needless to say so was I.

I could say that Kanyon's pregnancy came as a complete surprise but to the contrary it did not! My heart kept wanting another baby and as the stars lined up it was meant to be. My pregnancy with Kanyon was not perfect or flawless. Every horrible pregnancy story I had ever heard rang true times ten over with this pregnancy. I was sick and tired and tired and sick and sick of being tired and sick LOL. One horrible symptom I felt was always replaced with another. As elated as I was, deep down knowing it would all be over soon, I was MISERABLE! I couldn't deliver this baby quick enough so that my body might possibly feel normal again.

We chose not to find out the sex when I was pregnant with Kanyon, considering how many ultrasounds I'd had this wasn't the easiest task especially for an OCD mama. I will say it was completely worth not knowing and I would do it ten times over for that element of surprise. I was convinced that Kanyon was actually a girl, I just knew it! Only a girl could possibly make one feel so miserable. How do I know HELLO because I'm a girl and my capabilities of bringing on misery are quite scary if you must know.

They say after so many years your body goes back into the mode of your first labor and doesn't recall ever going through it before, what they say is true in my book! My labor with Kanyon was extremely similar to that of Kaleb, again I was going to have this natural drug-free childbirth and again I failed! My body was tired and I couldn't bare anymore pain or miscomfort and drugs were the relief I wanted to take it all away. Kanyon took his time making his grand appearance into this world keeping us all on pins and needles.

When the doctor placed him on my belly and exclaimed "IT'S a BOY" my heart melted and I knew the true meaning of immediate love all over again. I didn't think I had the capability to love another baby as much as I loved the first two, my heart was already so full. Kanyon was this perfect little miracle and he was mine. Paul's eyes filled with tears as he claimed, "that was the most incredible thing I have ever witnessed." He was such a big support and help through everything and to this day I don't think I could have done it without him. Any amount of love I thought I had for Paul immediately doubled when we had our union with Kanyon and were able to share the bonding moments together!

Kanyon didn't exactly start life as the best baby in the world, it took trial and error to get him on a good schedule and make him a happy little guy. He was always content in the comfort of someone's arms and at 4 months we finally figured it all out and he was bursting with bubbles of happiness. He was too cute for his own good and I couldn't make so much as a trip to the gas station without someone commenting on how adorable he is. He took his time crawling and walking and I believe it was to prepare us for all the running we've done after him since he became mobile.

Kanyon is bursting with life it takes all of our daily energy just to keep up with him. He doesn't sit, he's always doing something or making a mess. He is such a happy child and at his  young age expresses so much interest towards various aspects of life. He is fascinated by bikes, 4-wheelers, and cooking. He is very expressive and we call him repeat as he has a tendency to copy everything that he hears us say (not always a good thing)! His sense of humor is out of this world, he believes he is a little ball of funny and we go with it. He does have a slight temper and can be extremly vocal when he doesn't get his way, this trait we need major construction on. I can't imagine a day without this bright little boy in it, he melts my heart and warms my soul. He made our family whole and is this little shining star in a sea of comets. I have high hopes that Kanyon will go far in life and offer arrays of love no matter where he goes. Kanyon proved to me that I did have an even bigger capacity to love more than I ever imagined and he has filled a hole in my heart that I didn't know existed!