2nd Trimester Skepticisms

I have to go here because lets be perfectly honest, if you've ever had a not so joyous pregnancy every time a pregnant woman tells you that she feels remarkable you really just want to punch her in the throat LOL ok maybe that was a little extreme but still. I thought, since at the current moment I'm not so much enjoying being pregnant I would give some brief reasons as to why. Reason #1: SLEEP - during the 2nd tri I haven't been able to sleep. I feel motivated but exhausted, I want to sleep all the time yet I just can't get comfortable enough to do so and just about the time sleep becomes me BAM I'm hit with a swift kick to the bladder sending me off to the bathroom. Reason #2: ACHES - everything hurts, my head, my boobs, my back, my belly, my thighs, my feet. If nothing hurts, something is probably wrong. If everything hurts too much, something is probably wrong. If everything hurts the right amount, that is a great sign and it means that everything is going perfectly. How do you know the right amount? You don't, and every day the "right amount" can change. Reason #3: KICKS - Oh your sweet little baby is healthy and moving around and kicking. You can feel her bumping around, it's just magical and then HOLY $HIT WHAT WAS THAT? That? That crazy sudden pain that almost made you collapse? That feeling that someone just sent an electric fireball down your vagina and through your legs? That, my dear, was your sweet little baby kicking you in the cervix. Reason #4: SWELLING - Everyone knows things swell when you're pregnant. Your hands swell. Your feet swell. Your face swells. Your boobs enter a room 5 minutes before you, and 10 minutes after your belly does. Reason #5: ADVICE - Everyone you meet who has ever met another pregnant woman is an expert on your pregnancy. Everything they will tell you defies logic, and is likely the opposite of anything your OB will ever tell you. The longer ago and the farther away they gave birth, the more advice they will have and the more they will insist your doctor is wrong. Example: 90 year old woman who birthed her youngest 70 years ago in Siberia knows more than your doctor and will terrify you while going on for hours about what the best way to be pregnant is (using vodka to douche every hour is important for a healthy fetus). Everyone else will ask you questions, benign questions compared to the stuff I've mentioned. So there you have it. Everything you may or may not have wanted to know about the 2nd trimester of pregnancy. Now, I need to go ice my crotch and change my poise pad :)