A little appreciation note for my wife

Happy Birthday Jenn!!!

First off let me start by saying I’m hijacking this blog for the day so if you find me lying in a pool of blood in front of my computer please call the cops, it was Jenn :) 

 

 I think from time to time it is always nice to hear a kind word, an admiring comment, or have something nice done for you that shows you are appreciated in life and everything you do. This is just that, my attempt at letting the world know just what a wonderful person my wife really is. I’m sure you all know the story of how Jenn and I met from some of the earlier posts, and how we fell head over heels for each other, but I can guarantee you haven’t heard why I fell in love with Jenn (and it isn’t just because she knows how to make a wonderful snicker doodle cookie). It all started with her eyes; now let’s just talk about mesmerizing! She could charm the socks of a polar bear with those eyes! From first site I was hooked, but then as I got to talking and knowing her more and more I realized that she had such a great heart, full of compassion and love. She talked so highly of her kids and family, that it made me feel like they were mine already. Let’s just say, I found my dream girl! Beautiful, full of life, smart, compassionate, fearless and to top it off she can cookJ. Now if I could just get her to cook Italian a little more I’d have it made, LOL.

 

Jenn is such an inspiration to me and many others around her. She has a drive for life that just can’t be explained in words; it’s almost like you have to see it to believe it. Our kids are blessed to have a mother that cares so much about their well-being and she’d give the shirt off her back to know they are taken care of. Jenn is always there right by my side when I need help in the yard, getting dinner ready, doing household chores and especially when I just need a shoulder to lean on.

I try to always express to Jenn just what a wonderful person she is, but you know Jenn, she always denies what you say, and acts so humble. Today though is about you Jenn! Today I want everyone to know just how much this woman means to me and our family. She is so appreciated and loved and I want her to know that life would not be the same without her. So, here’s to you babe!!! I love you so much and I just want to say thank you for becoming part of my life. You lifted me up when I was down and you showed me what true love really is. You’ve given me the opportunity to see how life should be lived and every day I try my best to live life through your eyes because they are so full of passion and love. Thank you for being the person you are and I want to say “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” to the most special person that I have ever met. I hope you have a wonderful and relaxing day!

XOXOXO, Paul

My Papa & Me

It's not every child that can have the lavish luxury of spending time with their grandparents from their birth. Kanyon has been one of the fortunate ones and has this incredible bond of love created between him and his papa. Anyone that watches these two together can see how deep the bond lies within them. The rest of the world halts when papa is around, he is the center of Kanyon's universe.

I believe when Kanyon sees his papa, he sees his heart. His papa is a delightful and logical man and he loves his children with such an intense passion. He likes church and loves his home. He has a heart of gold and works very hard. He has a sense of humor that could charm the pants off a donkey and has made a strong well known name for himself. He is a gentle giant and Kan has him wrapped around his little finger but sealed deep into his heart.

These two buddies can't spend too much time away from each other before having major withdrawal issues. Upon entering his home Kan goes in search of papa, on the times he isn't home he's immediately struck with sadness. He loves to go on rides with papa on the 4-wheeler, swing with him in the hot sun, and snuggle next to him to dose off for a peaceful afternoon snooze.

We form a variety of different bonds throughout our lifetime and they all serve different purposes to a fullfillment we either need or want. Watching their bond grow and develop has been an incredible experience. We look forward to the future and all of the exciting adventures Kan will go on with his papa, these are memories that will last him an entire lifetime. I don't doubt that Kan will always be able to look back and remember with a smile how much he loves his papa!

"Work and Play"

Our weekends always seemed to be full to the brim of things going on. Down time LOL yea right what the crap is that, leisure time to us is when Kanyon takes a two hour nap. Come Friday, Paul has generally made a to do list with things needing accomplished in the two day window that  most people consider a weekend. No matter how much we have going on or how much work needs to be done, we always make time for play. I immensely enjoy afternoon walks and trips to the dino park. If given the chance I think I could sit on a park bench for hours and watch my kids frolic and play. There is something about childhood innocence that I love to hold on to and embrace. It seems like in the chime of a clock we blink our eyes and our children have grown. I constantly look back wondering where has the time gone, you turn your head for two seconds and all of a sudden your child is a preteen. I wish that I could bottle up the moments watching my kids play at the park, helping with yardwork, or twirling in the warm rays of an autumn sun. I know one day I will look back and miss these moments but I do so knowing that I savored every last look, touch, and above all the vibrant words of "watch me mom."

"My Very Own Italian"

In the midst of writing about kids, pregnancy, and lifes lessons; I've neglected to blog about the incredible "Italian" man that I'm lucky enough to call my husband. Not a day goes by that I don't thank my lucky stars for the moment that Paul waltzed (I really shouldn't use that word because he is a terrible dancer) into my world.

Paul is many things and means so much to so many people that I often think he doesn't realize his true value. I met him at a time in my life where I had basically given up on love and he was able to open my eyes to what "true love" actually is. Love doesn't come with terms and conditions, it is a deep down heart felt feeling you grasp from the inner most core of your very being. Paul would go to the ends of the earth to prove his love and devotion.

Words can't possibly describe what kind of father this man is. Our kids are beyond blessed to have a man that is so caring, gentle, funny, and sincere. He is always waiting with open arms, a helpful hand, or a smart comment. He would give the shirt off his back to make sure our kids never go without and endure many obstacles to ensure we are always taken care of.

As a mom, I never have to go through any task solo. Paul is constantly going above and beyond his husbandly duties to help, whether it be to bathe a kid or fold a load of laundry. I never have to ask him to pick up or cook a meal, he always does his fair share or more. I often feel guilty because there are times I would like to sit but I know Paul would never just sit when there are things that need to be done.

Some people go through life and never have the opportunity to know the meaning of true love or a soul mate. Those of us that are lucky enough to experience a once in a lifetime love, need to embrace it and be eternally grateful to have had the opportunity. Paul doesn't always know how much he means to me because believe it or not I'm a woman of few words when it comes to expressing emotions but at the end of the day I hope he truly knows how much I adore him. Our lifes are so crazy but I cherish every little moment we get with just us and bask in the warm of love that he creates.
 
                                                   I love you Paul Michael!!!

Mistakes

I  used to think that as I matured I would make fewer mistakes. I thought, "I'm going to get better at this, because I made a lot of mistakes in the beginning." I believed that there would come a day when I wouldn't make very many mistakes, because I would be better.

What I learned, however, was that as I matured I would continue making mistakes, but I would learn more quickly from them. Maturity helps us become better leaders because it helps us learn from our mistakes.

As we mature we become more self-confident. As we become more self-confident, we're willing to admit things that we would not admit if we had lower self-image. We become strong enough to admit mistakes -- and learn from them. We become bolder because we know that even if we make a mistake, we are moving ahead.

As we mature we realize that mistakes are not usually fatal. Mistakes weren't as big a deal as I thought. In fact, not only are mistakes not usually fatal, they actually have the opposite affect in that they can show us the right way of doing it. As Henry Ford put it, "Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement."

As we mature we find that we make the same mistakes unless we learn from them. The question isn't "How many mistakes have you made?" but "How many of the same mistakes have you made?" One secret to success is to not repeat the same mistakes. The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top.

As we mature we understand that mistakes are unavoidable. Can you think back to the times you tried to avoid mistakes? You know what I'm saying: "I'll just be careful. I won't make any mistakes here." After a while you learn to risk because you know the mistakes are unavoidable. You can't get around them, and in fact, with the proper perspective, you don't want to. You embrace mistakes as a way of learning. You don't try to fail, but accept that you will sometimes.

As we mature we see that even successful people make mistakes. Remember when you realized that the people you admired make mistakes, too? Old Rough and Ready, Teddy Roosevelt, knew that those who become successful do so with many mistakes, not only a few. In fact, it was the unsuccessful that only made a few mistakes. Roosevelt reminded us that: "The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything." Successful people usually have a string of failures in their past -- that they used as a platform to further success.

Above all, as we mature we gain proper perspective on mistakes -- and on life.

Auntie Jenn

I have one nephew and two nieces and as each of these sweet souls came into my life, so did these odd feelings of excitement, worry, hope, sadness (knowing lengthy periods of time would go between visits and snuggles), and supreme happiness. I see the fragile innocence of family, these precious young years and this time that is to savor. My heart often aches because I can't be the aunt like the ones I had growing up. So much time is lost between visits and faces are ever changing along with new milestones taking place in these beautiful little lifes.

I want them to remember me, but I do know it is I who will keep this chronicle for them. I want them to remember being tucked tight in my lap unable to escape over whelming snuggles, how badly they wanted to be big and how badly we wanted them to stay small. I want them to remember rolling in the backyard grass and asking all the while if I was watching, listening, and if I wanted to come play too? I want us all to remember the sounds of the full, busy house: endless showers, slamming doors, laundry ever-churning, scuffed carpets, giggles and secrets, while we sit and marvel and love and wonder. I want desperately to know my place-and our conclusion. Maybe that is a struggle I will wrestle all my life.

As an Aunt, I understand this, because I am witnessing these children in ways that maybe I don't always witness my very own. I see their perfection (and their flaws) through a loving and devoted but distant lens. I can nurture and scold and teach and play, but the time is finite. Every last minute counts, because at the day's end, that child isn't mine. I have to give them over but I do so knowing that I have loved every last inch of them from their tiny little eyebrows to their wiggley toes. What else as an Auntie, am I do to? Maybe that is the role of an Aunt, playing along but not necessarily leading the way.

I can be the Auntie that buys little surprises and stickers books and bags of Starbursts. Who can show a little more leniency than the disciplinarian parents, who is silly and child like too. Who never tires of knock-knock jokes or stories about school, or playing Legos, or making the grass and sky and trees any color I please across dozens of coloring book pages. Who loves earnestly, who is proud, who will remember all the early years, yes being that Auntie is just fine with me. Someday I will tell them all about who they were then, I will tell them their stories.