Fantastic 4 year old - Kan man

Holy Smokes, it's sooooo hard to believe that you are 4 already, what happened? You are starting to grow up, that's what happened! I have mixed feelings about you getting older, you're supposed to stay my little snuggle bug forever and ever. Your personality is continually growing and adapting and well to be honest getting you into skiffs of trouble. You are extremely hard headed and trying to refocus your attention when your mind is already set is darn near impossible. You generally have to be told half a dozen times not to do something which results in a timeout and an all out fit. Setting the timer seems to help because then you focus on waiting for it to go off more than being in timeout. You have the most vivid imagination I've ever seen on a child. You can make something out of nothing and watching your mind work is intriguing. You still love me the most (good judge of character you are), I love that you always snuggle with me when you're tired and that I can't be out of your eye sight for more than a minute when you come looking for me - I however do not like you interrupting my bathroom time. You love building and can sit with legos for hours on end making fancy creations. Your new found love is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and you always want someone to play with you. Yesterday you put a brand new 60 piece puzzle together all by yourself within a few minutes like it was nothing. I love that you don't get discouraged that you keep trying until you figure something out whether its the right or wrong way, you have a solution to everything. You love to be outside and help dad with yard work or tinkering in the garage. When you are too quiet we are well aware that you are doing something you aren't supposed to be doing. Recently you've made friends with a few neighborhood kids. Everytime I watch you ride your bike up the street to play, I feel like I'm losing a little more of my little boy that once needed me so much. Tomorrow we get to go meet your preschool teacher, you are so excited to start school next week. The week after school starts you are going to start playing fall soccer. I can't wait to see how cute you are trying to figure out a new sport. You still love your papa more than the moon and you spend countless hours making the best of memories with him, it melts my heart to see you two together. You're even starting to share Kimbree Jo with him but I can tell it bothers you. You are such a good big brother to Kimbree, she loves you and lights up the minute you pay attention to her. I love that you interact with her even though she can be a pain. You are caught between the world of being a little boy and a teenager and you think that just because Kaleb and Kennedy get to do something that you can do it too. We celebrated your birthday at Huntington Lake. You love the water and trying to catch crawdads off the dock. We had a BBQ and ninja turtle cupcakes and you received lots of awesome presents: 2 backpacks, legos, a matchbox car racing track, ninja turtles, a coat and levis, squirt guns, and the list goes on. Kanyon you light up our world daily, not a day goes by that I'm not eternally grateful for your presence. Our frustrations with you seem so small in comparison to the laughter you surround us with. Happy birthday buddy, I hope the next year is full of many grand adventures and your heart is always happy!

"One Last Time"

From the moment you hold your babies in your arms, you will never be the same. You might long for the person you were before. The person who had freedom and time and nothing in particular to worry about. You will know tiredness like you never knew it before and days will run into days that are exactly the same. Days full of feedings, gas bubbles, naps (or lack of), crying, whining, snuggling, stories, fighting, it may seem like the cycle never ends. But don't forget..... There is a last time for everything. There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time because you blink and then they want to do it "all by themselves." There will be a last time you hold your sleeping child, they don't stay little and lap size forever. One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down and never pick them up that way again because with time comes growth. There will be a last time you scrub their hair in the bath, one day they will want to bathe alone. There will be a last time they hold your hand to cross the road, there comes a day when they stop reaching up for it. There will be a last time they creep into your room at midnight for cuddles. One afternoon you will sing "the wheels on the bus" and do all the actions, then never sing that song to them again because they outgrew it. There will be a last time they kiss you goodbye on the drop off at school before time has an affect and they want to go alone. There will be a last time you read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face. They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time. The thing is, you won't even know it's the last time until there are no more times and even then it will still take you a while to realize it. So.... While you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them. For one last time.

"Is It Hard"

Most people that know me also know that for the last 5 months, my husband has been working out of the area during the week and home on weekends. I will be the first to admit not everyone thinks before they speak but recently when talking to a friend, she asked how things were going. She then proceeded to ask me "is it hard?" What I really wanted to do was ask her if pigs give birth to elephants in comparison to what my daily life is like but I merely said "we make the best of it." Then I got to thinking "is it hard" well you tell me? My days start between 4:30 and 5:00 a.m. (depending on when beasty wakes up hungry), I basically cruise from getting dressed, to brewing coffee, making bottles, packing a lunch, making a chore list for the older kids, to waking beasty back up, and starting the 30 minute procrastination rodeo that it takes to get Kanyon out of bed every morning. We leave our house by 7:15 to drop Kaleb off at football practice and the beasts off at daycare with enough time that I can make it to work without being late. On an average day I have 8-10 files of equipment that are piled on my desk, my phone rings multiple times, and I'm continuously getting interrupted by somebody that needs/wants something (have I mentioned I'm under paid LOL). My lunch breaks are generally spent either a. running kids b. running kids or c. picking up kids to run them somewhere. My work afternoons are spent essentially just like the mornings. I leave the office at 4:00 and head straight to pick up kids from daycare then home to run Kaleb to football practice again. Upon arriving home I notice that a tornado has magically hit our home again and it's a scattered mess but like I said, it's magical because the house was clean when I left it and nobody confesses to anything. Kan is crying because I didn't let him open the door, Kimbree is crying because she's hungry and now I've dropped my purse, the mail, and spilled a bottle trying to get beasty fed. I take a 30 minute break to feed baby, build garages for Kan's cars, pick up the "magical" mess before it's time to start dinner and then what do you know the phone rings and somebody needs a ride AGAIN. I'm lucky to get dinner on the table by 7:00 and without flaw someone is ALWAYS complaining (Kennedy) because they (she) doesn't like green beans or casserole or tacos with soft shells - the list goes on. Beasty is screaming because she wants to eat what everyone else is eating so I cave to calm her down, right about the time Kan spills his drink all over the table. Whew finally another mess is cleaned up but everyone is asking to leave the table, I haven't yet eaten but that's ok everyone is taken care of and the house is quiet at least for a minute. Cleaning up dinner, turns into baths, picking up another mess, Kan crying because he didn't want those pajamas, Kimbree pulling my hair, Kennedy making Kan cry because well that's what Kennedy does. I go to sit down and realize I need to start a load of laundry the baby barfed all over her clothes at daycare and well let's face it I will make a load of wash versus having stained clothes. I go to sit down again "hey mom I need a $120 for football." I go to sit down again and the baby pooped, time for diaper change. I go to sit down again and Kan starts crying because well he's tired and he needs his blanket. I feed beasty and kiss her little cheeks then put her to bed (she's a gem and goes down so easy). Kan wants to read his Monsters book again for the 14th time this week so we read a story and snuggle for ten minutes before the clothes need to go in the dryer. Kaleb and Kennedy and fighting over what's on tv AGAIN. Kan's finally crashed its 10:30 p.m and the laundry needs folded. Cars, blocks, blankets, and many other toys are scattered widely throughout the kitchen and living room. I spend time picking the house back up and realize another day went by and I didn't get a workout in. The kitty litter needs changed and kittens need food its 11:00. I forgot to make a night bottle CRAP! I sit for 30 minutes and fall asleep on the couch, then get up turn everything off and lock the doors, its 12:30 a.m. and I'm just crawling into bed and shutting my eyes. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 1:30 and beasty is waking up hungry, I crawl out of bed to warm a bottle and get back in bed its now 2:00 a.m. Before I know it the alarm is going off and my days starting all over again. Is it hard, NAH it's just another day in park!!!

13-iny BOPPER

13 REALLY? Where in the heck did that number come from and why did it come so fast? 13 WHEW we are both still alive and at this point I'm honestly just surprised we've made it this far. I'm sure that I'm not the only parent/person that has heard OVER & OVER - boys are easier than girls! Whoever was the first to make that statement deserves a good sturdy handshake (and a stiff drink) because they nailed that one on the head. Girls are hard; teenage girls are HARDER. Ok I can say I hate social media and what it's done to our youth but I'm just as corrupt with Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I can totally see why my 13 year old daughter is continuously taking selfies to post, yep I'm just as guilty - don't judge just download the damn app, it's the cool thing to do. Ok so on to better topics of conversation HOLY FREAKING COW, Kennedy is 13! She is a handful I will say that but she also has some very distinct qualities that make her a gem (she may need polished but nonetheless she's still a diamond in the rough). Kennedy is hard headed and fiesty, she could quite literally give you a run for your money then come back and rob you. She can fight with her 3 year old brother just as aggressively as her 14 year old brother, because she doesn't think before she speaks. She takes 214 selfies a day for snapchat and changes friends well like her underwear. One day best friends, the next day they hate each other, two days later she's my BFF - yep that's Kennedy in a nutshell. She's a disaster, you can tell every room in our house that Kennedy enters because of the trail she leaves behind. She's a messy slob and she doesn't have an organized bone in her body. She's sassy, she's genuine, she can be a royal pain in the a** but she's also my pain and I love her beyond measure. I love that she doesn't let people push her around. I love that she speaks up for herself and others that she cares about. I love that when she can see I'm worn out she will lend a helping hand. I love that she cares deeply for others. I love that she can melt into my arms and cry on my shoulder when life is wearing on her. I love that she can forgive and forget. Her great qualities far exceed her flaws, sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Sometimes when I need a time out, I can breathe and think she's just 13, this too shall pass and other times I want to wash her mouth out with soap. Kennedy despite what you may think because we often clash, I love you. I love you deeply, wholely, and completely and my life would never be the same without you. Thank you for challenging me - yes even the bad challenges. We've grown up alot together and learned alot of lessons (the hard way). I want you to know at the start and end of each day I'm eternally grateful for you and YOU just the way you are. Now GO clean up your mess, LOL. Happy Birthday Beautiful and always be "Your Own Kind Of Beautiful."

Fire Cracker Fire Cracker BOOM BOOM BOOM

We made our annual jaunt down to Kansas (actually for the 2nd time this year) to hang out with the Kansas fam over the 4th of July. Over the last few years we've seemed to make being in Kansas a tradition celebrating the 4th. We always enjoy the time we get with family; eating yummy food, reminiscing, playing yahtzee with granny, going to the zoo and pool, watching fireworks, and above all making memories. The hardest part of the whole trip is saying goodbye. They say goodbyes are not forever only temporary and I'd like to believe that, until we meet again - be safe, laugh, love, and live for the moment. The value of a moment is something that can last an entire lifetime. I value minutes, moments, hours, and days because we never know what life may throw into our path.

"Heaven Seems a Little Nearer When Someone You Love is There"

I wish there were visiting hours in heaven! I miss you grandpa, our trip home wasn't the same without you. I missed seeing you in your chair, I kept waiting for you to stagger in and sit down; wearing your white tank with your levis half way done up and belt buckle hanging array. I missed seeing you on the porch swing watching the kids play in the yard. I missed pouring your coffee and the sound of your shaver after your shower. I missed seeing you reach down to let a small hand grasp yours so you could lead the way. I missed watching you pull your boots on and go out to the shop to use the bathroom (hey when you gotta go you gotta go). I missed your tight hugs that end with a couple pats on the back. I missed seeing you lie next to grandma when we woke up in the morning and hearing her tell you to put the oxygen back on. I missed watching your feet tap to the beat of an old time tune. I missed you talking with your hands, hands that bore the marks of age and hard work. I missed you at the dining room table, so quiet yet observant while eating a good meal. I know you're happy and you're waiting so patiently for us to join you so our circle will be complete. As sure as the sun sets and the moon rises, I carry you in my heart and soul waiting for the day you will wrap your arms around me in one of your extra tight embraces. Keep strumming your tune and shining your light because we know you're there and it helps us smile through the tears. I loved you then, I love you still, I always have, I always will.

7, 8, 9.....

Yes I know, I'm 3 months behind and as much as I would love to say I will get better and be more diligent about staying "on top" of things I probably won't. This little ham is sooooo much fun, her personality has really evolved in the last few months. She pulls the cutest faces and you never know which face she will beam at you. She scoots on her bum, rolls to where she needs to be, and goes backwards but refuses to crawl, stubborn child this little diva is. She's 20 lbs. ALREADY (I know don't judge - we grow em big) we can't seem to keep her in clothes. She flies around the kitchen in her walker, running over innocent toes and we don't even want to go with the speed she catches down our driveway. She cries when you walk out of a room then immediately flashes her two tooth smile when she sees you again. She adores her big brothers Kaleb and Kanyon, she will squish up her nose and grin from ear to ear when she sees them. She's obviously a superb eater but wants to feed herself, talk about an icky mess. My heart aches when I'm away from her, I just want to pick her up and squeeze her (she hates this) every chance I get. In the last month, she started saying dada, kittyyyyyyyy, hi, and we caught her on video saying uh oh although she hasn't said it since. She loves to be outside in the sunshine, going for walks or bouncing in her exer-saucer. If I could freeze frame these moments with her, I would do so in a heart beat. She's the beat to my heart, the cheese to my sandwich, the pop to my corn. I want to keep her this little forever, keep her safe, away from the hardships in this world and from ever being hurt. I can't thank you enough Kimbree for lighting up my world, every day.