"Remember Me This Way" --- Memorial Weekend 2013

 I hope to always look back and never forget these little moments that will become treasured memories...

*Innocent laughter at the sight of a fishy.
*Playing in the dirt and making mud pies.
*Trips to the swimming pool and lake.
*Giggles, splashes, and water to the face.
*Eating a picnic lunch out of the back of the Tahoe.
*Fears and fascinations of porta potties.
*Sunscreen and sunburns.
*Toes in the sand then dipped in freezing cold waters.
*Passion, love, and childhood beauty.
*Slides, monkey bars, and swings.
*BBQ's and bike rides.

"Oops We Did It Again"

It is now official (to the rest of the world) that we are adding another member to our family. Are we crazy or what, abso freaking lutely but we wouldn't have it any other way. We thought we would give it one last whirl and let our path be directed by God. God must have decided that we need one more crazy in our clan. Thankfully the pregnancy has been going rather well with minor little throwbacks like nausea and massive heartburn. I'm extremely thankful that heading into the 2nd trimester I'm starting to feel somewhat normal again. My family (especially my loving and supportive spouse) have been such great sports in dealing with all of my pregnant hormones, mood swings, tiredness, etc. I think that we are experiencing all of the normal fears that come along with adding a baby to the picture but our greatest emotion is definitely excitement. Kanyon is so far behind the other kids in age, it was very important that he have a buddy to grow up with. The kids have been great since they found out about the baby, a little more protective than I like but understandable. My husband whom I adore is always over the top protective and "bossy" but I've come to terms with it for the most part. I do know that I'm not the most cautious individual when it comes to things, so having an army to protect me is a God send. We are looking foward to a healthy pregnancy and bundle of joy and hoping for nothing but the best, which is why we want a little boy (LOL jk just had to throw that in for laughter sake).

Adios Elementary

Well, it's official Kennedy has graduated elementary school and will be joining Kaleb at Jr. High next year. It still feels like just yesterday I was putting her on the bus for preschool. I wish someone would explain to me where time goes. I'm having a hard time letting go of my little "pigtailed" beauty when I see her very preteen image staring back at me. Jr. High seems like such a big world but Kennedy is ready to conquer it head on or so she says. I think she is much more ready for the next chapter than I ever will be. Is it common that the parent's must have all the anxiety while the kids posess all the excitement? I hope that Kennedy will learn to value true frienships and filter through the negative people she has a tendency to surround herself with. I pray that her vocals will carry her far next year in choir and that she will never lose her passion for volleyball. I have the highest of hopes for a bright future for Miss Kennedy and a mixture of emotions as I constantly watch her grow and change before my very eyes. Shoot for the stars baby girl and never settle for less! I know you have a heart as deep as the sea and a will set in concrete. Follow your morals and let your heart lead you in the right directions. Congratulations Kennedy, Jr. High is only a stepping stone let it be a great one!

Mother's Day

I just want to take a brief moment and reiterate how truly blessed and thankful I am for our little family. Despite all of the chaos that runs circles around our household, when I rest my head at night, my gratitude for all of the little things more than fills my bucket. My bucket is continuously full of:

"I love you's"
"hugs"
"kisses"
"good mornings, good nights, and sleep tights"
" little and big hands reaching for a touch of affection"
"please and thank you's"
 and the list goes on and on......

Amongst all of these things that most may consider small they mean the world to me and I wouldn't trade them for anything else in this universe. I couldn't possibly thank my husband, munchkins, and our families enough for making all of my Mother's days rememberable and reminding me of how lucky I truly am :)

 

"I'm sorry......soooooooooo sorry"

Of all the days in the world, yesterday on Mother's Day I had an absolute melt down and looking back on it I know that I owe Kennedy an apology even though I know she has long since forgotten the battle. If you ever wish for that one day with peace and tranquilty, know that if you have children they will do the polar opposite of what you hope for. My wish for Mother's Day was a nice relaxing day with all chaos eliminated, not a huge wish but still too much to ask for. My kids don't know how to not pick on each other, we have exhausted all of our means in trying every element out there with basically no success. I completely understand that kids will be kids and don't expect 100% perfection 100% of the time but 30% would be ok with me regardless. Here is where the chaos comes in, Kennedy never gives me attitude in fact she is a gem in more ways than one in that department but unfortunately everything she doesn't give to me she gives to Paul ten fold and I had reached my max on the way that she was treating him. After a yelling dispute where she continuoulsy spat "you're not my father," my straw broke and I became a stamping bull in fighting mode. I called Kenn a disrespectful little $hit (after I threw her door open implanting the door handle firmly into her wall WHOOPS). I gave Kenn a firm dose of reality and how the words we say can cut people deeply and how "Im sorry" doesn't always heal the wounds we create. As humans we have a tendency to hurt the people that mean the most to us, because we know at the end of the day they love us enough to forgive. It wasn't long before Kennedy hung her head in defeat and I walked away letting her stew over her actions. After my blood had a chance to stop boiling I realized that I probably hurt Kennedy just like she had hurt Paul and that leaves a scar on my heart. Kennedy was laughing an hour after the matter and had forgotten everything but that doesn't change my mind from going over the things that I said to her. One day Kennedy, you will read this probably a long time from now after life has handed you a multitude of crazy things and you've had your ups, downs, trials, and tribulations like we all do. I hope that you are able to look back and see a lesson behind the downs and pick your head up and know how much you are loved. Kennedy, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings and left a scar it was not my intention.